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Was looking through facebook, and chanced upon the birthday list compiled inside. It’s weird, that my friends born on the same day, are like somehow similar. Didn’t happen to like one pair, it’s like EVERYONE born on the same day is similar. For soooo many days. Omg, maybe it’s true, that people born on the same day, are somewhat twins afterall. (:
“Sometimes i feel too much, feel like i’m going to explode. All of me, all of what is inside me, anger sadness confusion pain insecurity fear loneliness, heart soul consciousness, whatever words for some of what is inside me there are no words to describe, it swirls, it races, it taunts, it moves to the surface and pushes pushes, all of it pushes. I feel like i’m going to explode. I scream. At the top of my lungs. Long and hard, scream so that my lungs hurt, my throat hurts, my face hurts. I scream into pillows” -“my friend leonard” by james frey
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I want - to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony;
to change the world (but need to take one step at a time first huh and start by changing myself, hohoho if you’ve the chance, you really should check out this new page in my organiser i just did! new year = new me!);
to meet up with my study buddies and find out how they are doing;
to have a successful a05 outing;
things to be okay;
to travel round the world;
to meet interesting people;
HOLIDAYS TO LAST FOREVER. (:
I need – my wish made at east coast park by the cable ski pool that day to come true (p.s today is world kissing day according to facebook! i’ve missed my chance this year again. boo.)
I crave - for absolut to numb me;
cups and cups of black russian;
nights away from home;
someone to hold me tight, and tell me that everything’s gonna be alright;
for gelare waffles (it’s tuesday today = half priced day omg);
for max brenner’s suckao;
for love
I miss – crescent to the max;
being a kid again;
my old bolster (why did my mum have to throw it away!!)
I hate – mini toons (except for their combs thanks)
I laugh – and i can’t stop laughing almost all the time, and then people (like weisin winkwink) say that i laugh at the most sadist and ridiculous things ever and they laugh at my laughter instead
I cry – when i’m alone. whenever i’m alone. (quotes “my friend leonard” by james frey)
I should – have a blast on the last day of 08 (tomorrow!!!)
I can – burp my ABCs
I shouldn’t really – splurge on food anymore! (save money = more $$ to buy tickets and travel round the world)
I think – that i shouldn’t think about it anymore.
I would - start on my holiday homework soon (i promise, really soon!)
I tried – but i failed. and im gonna try again.
I miss – eh didn’t “i miss” appear on the top already!?!??!
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THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
Pearlyn
Pear
Pearly Werly / P
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU’VE HAD:
paperboxx
chobaco
i_luv_purin (haha neopets)
THREE THINGS YOU’VE DONE IN THE LAST 33 MINUTES:
Shit
Eat
Blog hop (and spy on people HAHA)
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
Retardedness
My new fingernails (i vow not to chew them off ever)
The way im doing up my ‘09 organiser (!!)
THREE THINGS YOU DISLIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
How i always piss people off
Insecured
Moley face
and my eyebrows (!!!)
THREE PARTS OF YOUR ORIGINS:
Africa (i live in the wild)
China (sad to say)
North Pole (santa’s elf!)
THREE THINGS YOU’RE AFRAID OF:
Ghosts
Bring alone (home alone doesnt count!)
Not finding love (!!! HAHA)
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
Hush Puppies shorts (strips!)
Jigsaw puzzle tee
Cool underwear
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
Handphone (hello world!)
MACBOOK (!!!)
Eclipse Light Blue Mints! (swear i’d die without it)
THREE IMPORTANT OBJECTS:
My new FUNSHINE bear (im trying not to be as retarded as it)
Jellybeans
You
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS:
HAHA i prefer random singers
Or any songs that’s nice
Bands dont really matter to me (sorry im not a fan!)
THREE WAYS TO BE HAPPY:
Melt and play with max brenner’s dark chocolate suckao (and finally drinking it)
Stepping into a giraffe museum
Talking on the phone (and ranting non stop, sorry pals!)
THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
Water Skiing
Losing Fats
Studying but not being a mugger
THREE THINGS YOU REGRET:
Not spending enough time with my family
Not spending enough time with my friends
Saying that… (this is so post secret worthy)
THREE IMPORTANT THINGS YOU’RE GIVING TO THE WORLD:
Me
I
Myself
(HAHAHA)
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in order):
I find joy in crying
I dont want to grow up
I love school (like wow!)
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX:
Eyes (they’re the windows to your soul)
Smile (to melt my heart)
Hands (the bigger the better)
THREE NON-PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX:
Humour
Generosity
Sincerity
THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN’T DO:
Smoke
Take drugs
Have sex
THREE THINGS YOU MISS FROM YOUR PAST:
Crescent days!
How my sister and i can play with anything we find at home for hours
How i can feel at ease talking to anyone
THREE GIFTS YOU WOULD LIKE TO RECEIVE:
You
You
You
THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE HOBBIES:
Cycling along ECP
Taking retarded pictures
Eating ice cream (ben and jerry’s!) and spending time with my friends
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
Swim! (and lose weight)
Havoc for one night (just one night will do)
Meet up with a05!!!
and dali!!
THREE CAREERS YOU’RE CONSIDERING:
Teacher
Private Investigator (spy on people cheating on their wives!)
Events Organiser
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO FOR HOLIDAY:
Australia!!!
Rome/Paris/Italy/Barcelona/Spain = Europe
USA!!!
THREE CARTOON CHARACTERS:
Barney
Elmo
Scooby Doo
THREE BOY’S NAMES:
Stanislaus
Ethan
Zachery
THREE GIRL’S NAMES:
Gabby
Ashley
Eliora
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
Travel round the world!
Fall in love and ____ ___
Write my will
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1. i dont know why it’s affecting me so much, but it just is.
2. what you read does not equals to what you get. because, words can be deceiving too.
3. if it’s just me, i’m sorry. but i think it really takes 2 hands to clap.
4. sometimes i feel very useless because it seems like the whole world is shutting out, and not even giving me the chance to lend a helping hand. it makes me feel like shutting out too. i wonder if i can survive without friends.
5. as much as i wish to help, to know if you’re okay and find out what is wrong, it doesn’t make things better if you want me to help you and yet not tell me what is going on. and all i can do is just watch quietly by the side, and tell you i’d be here, i sincerely mean it, but there’s nothing i can do about it either.
6. sometimes you just feel so alone, you want to hide under your pillow and cry, and there’s no one you can call.
7. get me away from here i’m dying, give me a song to set me free.
8. because everyone is so caught up with their own shit, we tend to forget the feelings of others. we want people to show us some form of affection, that we forget to pass it on/shower them back with the same care.
9. make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other is gold.
10. wouldn’t it be nice if the world was a little less complicated.
wouldn't it be nice
/edit: i feel really horrible now, i just want to curl up and die.
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An addiction cannot be totally erased, it can only be replaced.
i’m so proud that i didnt fall at all during ice skating today! (: (: (: haha and to think i was wearing shorts. bad choice x10. but i have to say, i was like the slowest skater in the rink man, even the kids were like faster! singapore’s rink compared to taiwan’s, singapore’s is like half the size (no kidding) and thrice the number of people. and the aircon was like hot even though it was AIRCON. i miss the natural air con of taiwan. ):
and i know you love me, but please let me fly on my own. please. ):
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DALI pals, church buddies!
3.Your 5 impressions of her/him?
EMO MOMO (need i say more?), tall (freaking tall), fun loving, responsible, sensible, nice voice/can sing, really good listener and likes to keep things to himself (that’s why he = emo momo)
Highly doubt we’d be enemies la huh, but i will just back far far away. And not talk to him forever? (:
5.What will you say to the person whom you like very much?
That’s for me to know, and for you to find out. (:
Being able to be there for people when they need me, being able to talk to almost anyone and make them feel at ease, being the sunshine in people’s lives, retardedness
Always thinking too much, always falling too deep into relationships, losing myself from time to time, finding it hard to bounce back once shit happens
8.For the person whom you hate the most, you say…?
I dont think i HATE anyone (: hate is too strong a word.
Emo, insecured, bubbly, enthusiatic (like forever, but it depends on what la huh), horny (stupid dali killed my reputation grr), sincere, selfless, talkative, retarded (very retarded), and that i have a very sinister laughter that’d make heads turn (dali again)
10.Who do you have a crush on?
That’s again, for me to know, and for you to find out. (: but i must say, such a person/people do exist. No no i didn’t make my crush(es) up!!
11.The most ideal person you want to be is… ?
I have no idea, being myself? being truly myself.
12.Pass on this quiz to 5 people:
1. Angelina
2. Ming Yang
3. Yuexi
4. Stephanie
5. Wan Ting
13.If no.2 & no.3 were together, what will happen?
HAHA i dont think it’s ever possible, but i’m not doubting it since they’re in the same school. But things wont work out man.
14.Who does no.5 like?
That’s a secret. (:
15.What colour does no.1 like?
Turquoise, it’s actually __% something + __% something + __% something but i can’t remember sorry! :D
16.Say something about no.3.
bestie! been through all the shit in crescent with me, i love her a lot la. (: she’s kindda my inspiration + ranting pal + half sister + advice giver + laughter + wake up call + so many more its uncountable. She loves to scold me (but i know its for my own good la huh), and sometimes i feel that she doesnt really know what im going through, but at the end of the day when i look back, i know she does. (: im sorry for being such a bad friend, and i thank you for being there for me always. (:
17.Who is no.2?
Dali pal! (: (: (: the guy who dyed his hair red.
18.Talk about no.5.
eclub pushcart director! super blur and yet damn funny! (: damn fun to be around her.
19.Who is no.1?
bestie! someone who’d been through all the shit with me in tj. she’s the one who exposed me to the world of _____. my big sister + soulmate + angsty rant partner + guy advisor + shoulder to cry on + inner soul + so much more of everything that i can’t put to words. we share so many things and are similar more than we are different. she loves to pick fights and criticise me, but i know at the end of the day, she means well. (: you so have to invite me to your wedding with _______ man. :D
definitely no.1 (: and i shan’t say why.
21.What colour does no.4 like?
green. and pink!
it’s complicated. (:
this is a taboo question. (: i shan’t answer that.
Tan!!
26.What is no.1’s nickname?
HAHA i shan’t say. (: it’s hilarious to the max.
27.What things do you wish to say to no.3?
i really love you very much, and know that you’d always be part of me no matter what! (: dont stress miss secretary! your vaio loves you very much too.
haha help her find more suppliers for the pushcart! so we can earn more money = more funds = faster cafe expansion & more money to buy white wallpaper for the pushcart (:
Linda Locke!! (: not too sure bout this though, but i’m 90% sure. (okay 100% sure now that she told me). And i was also thinking of James Allen (Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so you shall become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil)! But apparently someone just told me on msn that it’s angie chen and amelia! ):
Not all of them, just the closer ones (: and it might not be right too. let’s say i’m a little fickle huh.
32.What do you wish to say when you see no.2?
your hair didn’t drop any colour leh, mehmeh! how’s joyce btw? HAHA.
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If you remember, i’ve mentioned somewhere that christmas this year is gonna be a very very different one. I don’t know how different it was going to be, i just know that it was going to be different. You can say it’s 6th sense or something, because, it really came true. The whole drama leading to christmas, the whole “i want to start afresh” shit, the whole exchanging of presents, and hiding somewhere else rather than home, has made me closer to my family i must say. It’d been a while since we spent so much time together. (: and i really appreciate it.
Major trashing session with my mum (glad things are better now), Stayed over/hid at my grandma’s, went for midnight mass together (haven’t been going for mass with the family for quite some time now), exchanged christmas gifts, spending so much time playing with my baby cousin, having my not-so-baby cousin coming over to my grandma’s to hide as well, and basically just thinking and thinking and more thinking.
And as usual, i’ve came up with many many conclusions, which i hope i’d really stick to this time round. :S
Anyways, i’m glad to finish up my organiser design at pokxy’s house that day!!! (: (: (: never knew that liting was there toooo! HAHA while they were doing their math homework of course, speaking of which, i haven’t and don’t intend to start any of my homework any time soon! Shall wait till after new year hehe.
And i really really love my mummy for getting me the new phone (which i’ve started to use) and red nano! (:
Sometimes, i feel that i have to act like the stronger one, because i hate to see you cry. And you know obviously, that i’m not.
And thus this being the 75th post, i shall change my header! (:
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Took this from mingyang’s blog. Swear it’s crazier than the taipei line. OMG is it me, or is it that singapore is getting more and more complicated?
the feeling that makes your heart stops, that makes you fall head over heels?
yeah, it’s not love.
boy, you do make my heart go tick tick tick.
/edit
cloney just gave me a huge scare. her flight from america is cancelled (like wtf) so she’d only be able to take the 28th flight back and arrive like next year! omgggggggggg. please stay safe my dear! can’t believe she’s stranded in like america at the airport. shit. and for one moment, we thought that the o’s results are gonna be out on xmas eve, which made the situation even shittier because she wont be back on time to collect it! thank god, it’s mid jan. (:
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This is so gonna be my most random post ever:
1. Christmas shopping has knocked the sense out of me. It’s like the WHOLE singapore is out shopping for xmas gifts. EVERYWHERE is filled with people, omg. I found it so hard to walk. Even my favourite shop (toys’r us) has lost its magical touch! Okay but on the other hand, im glad i bought all that i’m supposed to get (: Didn’t bother queuing for the gift wrap, so now all i’m left with, is to wrap up the gifts (like my 15mths old cousin will know how to open like that), make THAT gift, and WRITE ALL MY XMAS CARDS (shit shit shit shit shit, mr postman i pray you grow wings) :D
2. i’m about to make a very wrong decision, which i hope i’d regret someday.
3. we can choose to ignore, or not ignore our feelings. sometimes ignoring it is better, but most of the time, i’d rather face up to reality and listen to my heart. But today, the heart lied, and thus i dont know if the voice in my head is still reliable anymore. And so, ignoring seems to be the best thing to do. (: it’s okay to live in self-denial at times.
4. I HOPE THE POSTMAN DELIVERS THE RED NANO TO THE CORRECT ADDRESS <3
5. after hearing bout chinaone, my hearts itching, my feets shaking, and despite it being bad for me (hint: kill my liver), i’m all set and ready to rock the world again. (:
6. this christmas is gonna be different. so very different. nothing i can do about it, but just embrace the change eh? kindda excited though. :D but yet, i’d rather it be like the years before.
7. apologies to my dali and taiwan pals, photo bucket’s screwing up on me! i know it’d been 2 weeks, but i’d get the photos up asap yea? (: (: (:
