#118 i’m dying from a heart attack

OMG WEISIN JUST SENT TO ME THE A’LEVELS TIMETABLE.

i start on 2nd nov with CLL paper 1. 

And end on 2nd dec with ECONS paper 1.

WTH THATS LIKE 1 WHOLE MONTH OF AGONY ): ): ): ): ): 

why am i so suay. 

GAHHHHHH CANT WAIT TO GO OVERSEAS AFTER A’S! 

DALI GUYS BETTER TRAIN HARD K, SO DONT HAVE TO GO IN DURING DECEMBER D: gosh.

#117 I am bad with computer skills

Just realised that the pictures from the previous post are too big! Haha and i’m very lazy to go and reload it. (: So pardon the blur and big images! 

Was supposed to meet adelicia today, but she injured her leg D: rest well alright my dear. 

And today, i’ve got to know about the severity of the illness of someone close. I don’t think i can deal with hospitals any longer, firstly with you. and then you. As much as i want to help, i dont know how to. All i can do is feel sad, and try to be there. Loser. When in actual fact, being there doesn’t exactly help much. Just hopefully through the small little gestures of cards and smses, we can at least bring a little sunshine into their lives. Can’t help but feel bad, these people out there are fighting for their lives, and here we are, thinking about not living. ): 

You told her to live our lives to the fullest. And i think that is only possible without A’levels. So much to do, so little time.

Feeling really tired, mentally and physically. Yawned almost 20 times today. Kept thinking bout the same thing over and over again. You can say it’s my deepest darkest secret. And i trust you, i really do. And i haven’t felt this scared for quite some time. 

Eclub tomorrow. It’s like we’re stepping down in a month or two’s time. Time flies, really fast. Much to settle, reports to write, projects to consolidate, and being a leader is not about the postion. With position comes responsibility, leadership is about action, not position. A great leader is someone who has made an impact on the lives of others. Cliche as it seems, this is what i’ve learnt so far about being a leader. Especially this year, time management, stress management. Don’t think i’ve grown as much as i did in crescent, but sure helped me a plenty with the real world. In crescent i was so freaking sheltered, though there were different personalities to work with, but the dynamics was more or less there. In tj, we really had to start from scratch, to build the rapport, to learn how to work with each other, it’s not easy, we’ve come a long way, we’re much closer than what we were a few months back, and that’s good, that’s something to be taken away from this whole term. (: we’d end it with a blast man. Afterall, we’ve made so many changes it’s uncountable, and it’s for the better eh. (: though implementation takes time, and adaptation and following through takes more time too. we really really will pull through.

Sports Day on friday, really really not ready to run. I dont want to throw eclub’s face ): i’m scared. help! 

And in times like this, i kindda miss a certain someone.

#116 We never ask “why not”

1. Was really thankful to have met pokxy over the thursday of the march hols and get some relax and play time! (: apart from all the supposed “mugging” which didn’t exactly take place. HAHA but it was just the whole march common tests coming up, would feel guilty for not studying, but yet dont exactly want to study kind of mood. Anw, went over to pokxy’s for dinner (: and had so much fun haha totally made me feel like its march hols afterall! (: i’m really thankful for having such a friend like pokx, for always being there for me, and always being so sensible and knocking some sense into me HAHA (:

it was a trade-off between taking faces and taking pretty sparkles, and we chose to take pretty pictures of the sparklers instead! (: i really love pokxy. She never fails to make me see the world in a more beautiful light. 

2. Everytime i hear about you, my heart aches. I feel like crying because there’s nothing i can do to help you, as much as i want to. ): and everytime, it doesn’t seem to get better. You make me want to treasure my life more, but how can i treasure it without you? There seems to be this thing missing without your lame jokes and horror stories of NTU… ): there’s so much i want to express but i cant do it in words. my english suck and i hate myself for that. 

3. was asked this question that day “When was the last time our felt really free?” and i couldn’t reply. 

4. you are the main reason why im hanging/living on. and, if you dont hang in there, i won’t know what to do. 

5. Many promises don’t see the light of the day. Saw through the ones that didnt, fell for the ones i thought would, and i’m unsure about this one. 

6. Bradley Trevor Grieve is one of the best authors i’ve ever ever encountered. Love the pictures and the inspirations! (:

7. Cannot stand the people who want to know, and dont dare to ask. Have to find ways to go round the loop, and in the end analyse the answer themselves and the analysis is wrong. Why can’t you just freaking ask me straight in my face. 

8. DALI OUTING (: was weird this time around because i couldnt sleep the night before. i actually even had nightmares about it. and then marcus called to say he couldnt come, came up with this whole load of excuses, and i was so pissed off when everyone started calling one after another to say they cant make it. Haha but in the end almost everyone came (: and we went to settlers and all (check out yangsheng’s blog for the details). Can never find such a fun bunch of friends like dali! (: totally makes me miss crescent more ): 

9. sometimes i get so pissed off at planning outings that i just want to call it quits. everytime it would turn out to be flops and its so fustrating. Like for a05. and for study buddies. I just get so disappointed time after time because nobody bothers to give a shit to reply whether they are even free. So much for keeping in touch man. But then the fun we have in the outing, totally makes up for everything. Just very very irritated, is it that hard to type “yes” or “no” on your keypad and send?

10. somethings are unforgivable.

#115 CRESCENT

Found this randomly on facebook:

Teachers

Known a teacher who didn’t shave her armpits [X]
Remembered a teacher for having a very strong “scent” [X]
Tricked a teacher on April Fools [X]
Knew a teacher who liked a student of the same sex []
Knew a teacher who needed to eat more seaweed [X]
Contacted a teacher via SMS before [X]

Uniform

Wore the tie on the first day of school [X]
Buttoned up your shirt all the way to the top on the first day of school [X]
Wore the socks that said C.G.S [X]
Wore ankle socks because the C.G.S was simply disgusting [X]
Had velcro taped to your blouse/skirt [X]
Placed stuff in your breast pocket [X]
Tore your breast pocket [X]
Wore uniforms at least two sizes bigger []
Purposely wore shorts other than the school’s PE shorts for mass runs []
Detested your house tee so much it is chucked in one corner of your closet or is used as a rag [X]
Bought sports shoes from Queensway [X]
Wore normal bras []
Unhooked people’s normal bra [X]
Wore bright coloured sportsbras that wasn’t allowed [X]
Wrote stuff on your sports shoes such as _______rocks []
Thought Crescentian was pronounced as Crescent -tian [X]

Rules

Got caught for having waxing your hair [ ]
Got scolded for having your hair too short [ ]
Hid your handphone in the OHP [X]
Hid your handphone in ziplock bags and placed them in your waterbottles [X] (we placed them in the toilet water part at the back of the toilet bowls!)
Used lollipop sticks as your earrings [ ]
Wore really fanciful earrings despite knowing you should not be doing so [ ]
Wore your nametag in a way that it hung low into your breast pocket [X]
Made a nametag that didn’t bear your name [ ]
Tore Newsweeks to share with friends who didn’t bring anything during Silent Reading [X]
Got caught tearing your newsweeks/reading textbooks and was made to stand [X]
Was used as an example for bad behaviour [ ]
Was remembered by the security guard for breaking the rules []
Passed notes in class on a frequent basis [X]
Had a teacher read out the note you passed in class [ ]

History

Remember the ballerina story like the back of your hand [X]
Thought the guy who appeared in school at night was a ghost [X]
Sat at the top level of the library worrying Pontianak would appear []
Heard one or more ghost stories about the school [X]

Canteen
Bought mixed/”can” sandwich from the last stall [x]
Wanted to protest against the school for banning the sale of hashbrowns [XXXXX] (totally!!!!)
Ordered chicken porridge without chicken/ grass jelly without grass [X] (all the time!!!)
Loved the dessert from the first stall [X] (ice jelly cocktail! <3)
Attempted to order a random juice from the first stall and actually got it [X] (starfuit carrot juice! HAHA)
On the first day of school, you ate from the stall with the longest queue [ ]
Spread/Knew the rumour that the last stall recycles their straws [X]
Would rather eat Mobil’s food anytime [X] (sec 2 year!)
Slept on the canteen table [X]
Celebrated your friend’s birthday by singing Happy Birthday crescent style [X] (love it! and i always sing it now, to get weird stares from others around!)
Laughed so hard you fell off the canteen chair [X]
Kicked the vending machine because you heard that it gives more change than it should [X] (and i got the more change! 10 cents!)

Outside school
Has bought something from the petrol kiosk before [X]
Loved buying instant noodles and balance it all the way back to school [X]
Loved Polar Puffs and Cakes [X]
Regarded town as your second home [x]
Ever SMS-ed people to warn them that teachers were in town [X]
Knew the ice-cream uncle at Redhill [X]
Walked to redhill market to eat carrot cake or drink sugar cane [X]
Headed to Tanglin Macs for breakfast before/after remedial [X]

Curriculum and Hobbies
Know one or more quotes from the Bonesetters’s Daughter [ ]
Know one or more quotes from the View From The Bridge [ ]
Read your textbooks more than 4 times []
Loved breaking those 4/6 digit number locks [X] (people always broke the one to my table! haha)
Called Mr Chan up to break your lock because you lost/forgot to bring the key [X]
Headed to the toilet each time the bell rang [x]
Ate in the toilet before because you felt it was clean enough [X]
Walked in to the toilet and saw something you shouldn’t see [X]
Heard people gossiping about you/people you know because they didn’t realise you were in the toilet []
Looked at yourself in the full-length mirror in the canteen [X]
Loitered in school even though lessons were over [X]

Mass Run
Ran so fast you were given a piece of paper to commend you [ ]
Hid in class so you wouldn’t have to run [X] (haha and tried to do council duty by “patrolling” the corridor so i dont have to run)
Purposely came late for school so you could miss mass run []
Were one of those few who pushed against the school gate when they were closing it all because you took too long to run [X]
Tried to run a route different from yours so it would be shorter [X] (got caught la!)
Prayed that it would rain so mass run would be cancelled [X] (rain danceeeee!)

Rotanda, Mini Forum

Spread flour all over the floor so you could slide through []
Threw something down the rotunda [X]
Held a wedding ceremony at the rotunda [ ]
Tripped at the mini-forum stairs [X]
Raced someone up the stairs [X]

Science Lab

Tried to burn the tables in the lab [ ]
Cooked something in the lab and ate it [ ]
Stole testubes, boiling tubes etc [X]
Broke something in the lab before [X]
Burned your hand and didn’t want to tell the teacher for fear that your SPA marks would be deducted []
Could smell the examination materials before O-levels [X]

I MISS CRESCENT (:

at pokxy’s house now, supposed to be studying econs but HAH ):

get well soon you ):

#114 ):

It’s hard to ignore what others say about you, pretend nothing happened, and move on with life. 

Sometimes i really regret going to TJ, but then again, what doesn’t kill you will just make you stronger eh? I really hope that i’ve learnt something and grown through this. 

The world is like that.
When i’ve finally let my guards down and started to trust again, some people just have to come and pick the most vulnerable parts of me, say all they like. It’s like you really won’t know who to tell what to because you won’t know what they will do with it. I really wish i can be back, sheltered at crescent again. But then again, i’d never grow eh. I’m hiding back into my shell, and not trusting so easily anymore. Once bitten, twice shy no? 

And for now, i shall rely on the dear ones to keep me strong. 

32 weeks till the end of school! (: cant wait cant wait!

#113 TAIWAN

I NEED TO GO BACK TO TAIWAN NOWWWWWWW

): ): ): 

I MISS TAIWAN x10 ): ): ): ): ): 

 

gahhh why did i have to be so itchy hand to watch the video. stupid pearlyn stupid. ): 

IF YOU HAVE THE CD,

PLEASEEEEEEE GO AND WATCH IT.

CONFIRM MAKE YOUR HEART MELT, MAKE YOU CRY EVER. DONT NEED NO MARLEY AND ME. ):

#112 Nostalgia

OMG THAT IS THE FUNNIEST COMMERCIAL EVERRRRR. GO WATCH GO WATCH! :D :D :D 

 

Was out with martin that day, and we bumped into HILDA FOO. It’s such a nice feeling to meet someone you haven’t met for so long, think i haven’t met hilda for like what, 10 years!? Still remember all the stupid things we did together in primary school. haha. (: and it was very weird how we met her, cause it went something like 

Martin (to me) while staring at the girl leaning on the glass opposite: “Eh, SJI international right?” 
Me: “Hilda..?”
Hilda (talking to herself) while staring at us through the reflection on the MRT train door: “Martin…? Pearlyn….?” 

And the best part, we both know her! And haven’t seen her for so super long. (: ITS A REALLY NICE FEELING. He knew her from church while I knew her from pri school. Makes me think of the crazy stuff we used to do in P6, haha mrs eio and bitching bout her, mama gang at the canteen and laughing at them, omg. Running in the rain, playing for inter-class netball tournament, playing “crocodile crocodile may we cross the river” at the old school campus, “ice and water”, “hide and seek” where we always want to get found because hide until no one can find is very boring, the after meal prayer/song that we used to sing louder than the national anthem, and just basically rushing home when the bell rings at 1.30 to play neopets! HAHAHAHA. and now it’s like i come home everyday at like 11pm?!?!

miss the carefree days of the past (: 
i know i shouldnt compare ah, make myself feel more miserable only, but it’s like this march holidays are not even holidays at all! ): need to study for march common tests, which are like on the 1st day when sch reopens, and then june holidays must study for june common tests, and then sept hols must study for prelims! WTH WTH. hang in there pearlyn, this year will pass very very fast, yes it will omg. sometimes, i really hate the education system here. >:[

 

 

love is not a feeling, it’s a decision. 

 

 

/edit: finally had the time to pack my table, and i finally managed to put in the two cds that the taiwan side had given us, one from ah rui, one from the dali teacher assistant. and I REALLY MISS TAIWAN ALL OVER AGAIN :’( they really put in every single picture, oh man, i miss the trip so much so much so much ): and the people too! ): ): ):

#111 ECLUB! :D

ECLUB IS IN THE FINALS FOR 4×100 FOR SPORTS DAY! :D :D :D :D :D 

was so scared that i’d bring the team down, haha we practised quite a bit. and then, after wasting much of wan ting’s counterpain-lookalike gel that day, eclub got into finals like auto. no fight! wthhhhh. ): 

BUT OH WELLS, WE ARE IN THE FINALS! :D this shows that even clubs can run okay! 

gosh gosh gosh, i love eclub! :D especially this year, we’ve been through so much shit together and all, the many trashing out sessions we had and all, we’ll pull through!! :D gonna be quite sad when we step down in june. it’s like want to hurry up step down, yet dont really want to step down. okay i’m insane. (limin! now i know how you feel!)

 

p.s $70k grant for eclub! :D :D :D never knew they were so generous with their money!!!! 

 

PEIYI got 2nd for 400m! so happy for her! :D 
and RACHEL got 2nd for 200m! :D omg they rock my socks.

 

IM REALLY PROUD TO BE IN ECLUB (: with a really awesome board! :D

 

p.p.s pardon the overflooding of smileys! HAHA.

#110 The End Where I Begin

It was a good cry. 

Can’t believe i just broke down and cried non stop at mccafe today, it was real bad. Just wanted to take a breather from school, which is seriously draining my energy out, and im uber unhappy there. ): Can’t seem to connect with people, to find the right energy to do things. So basically i was just very much zombified the entire day, or rather the entire year, or even like last year in fact. Up till now, i still can’t say that i like tj. ): 

Actually it was very much a pile up of issues. Totally didnt expect to see steph too! She cabbed all the way down to meet me just before her red jumpsuit apparels concert, haha. Don’t die please, don’t die. ): I was so overwhelmed omg. Haven’t met her in like months, and then she’s leaving this friday, haha didn’t know why, but the minute she stepped out of the door to go over to bk, i just felt like i wont see her ever again. Like plane crash or something (touch wood). ): ): ): ): ): 

And you can say that was pretty much the trigger. Plus all the school stuff (emotional bits), and all the relationship issues, and like march common tests coming up and all. Everything’s just piling up. 

I’d really understand, if you dont understand what i’m going through, because everyone goes through different things at different points in their lives. And i’d really appreciate it, if you would pretty much use some tact, I understand where you are coming from, but what you said today, just simply made my world crash down even more. But then again, some people dont exactly know when their words hurt others, or maybe it was just intentional. ): I really hate school. ): I don’t wanna be a loner for the rest of my life. 

Thanks so much for lending me your shoulder to cry today, for hearing me out (when no one else really give a shit and all they do is pass criticisms or what i should or should not do), and for really just being by my side. I’m sorry for scaring you by crying so randomly, i love you. (: 

Stephy, please stay safe, don’t die. I really love you, and shit, you mean hell loads to me. ): 

 

It was really a good cry.

#109 THIS IS SO TRUE.

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don’t like conflict. Because you’re so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don’t judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren’t necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people’s eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You’re a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you’ll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

(http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx) 

-

Okay i’m really shocked because the quiz was only 9 questions long, and it totally didn’t make sense at all, but yet it could totally show this about me, which im really really shocked, because it’s so true! (: OH MAN. WHY DOES THE COMPUTER KNOW ME BETTER THAN MYSELF?!

 

HALF DAY FOR TJ TODAY! :D :D :D 
haha but what the shit, ended up with eclub meeting, and training for relay (4×100 yo), and un seminar meeting and all. So techinically, my half day wasn’t much of a half day. Except that i got to eat nice and yummy food! (: (: And i got caught in the damn rain too. Had to bear with my soggy shoes for the whole day! ): It’s not really that bad, because i kindda like the rain, and i would really really love to twirl around in the downpour someday! (: Haha but of course doing other stuff in the rain is not bad too (winks to harry adam), and it’s always nice to see the rain after the freaking hot singapore sun after so long. (: think i should go and live in london or something. and somewhere with snow would be good too! 

Really hate misunderstandings. It’s like you can never get things cleared, and one misunderstanding always lead to another, which sucks, and makes your life miserable. And then, people will form judgements and start to whisper, bad mouth and think the unthinkable about you. Seriously, someone should invent this course on how to treat people right, and everyone should go attend it, apparrently i’m not the only one facing this problem ): Maybe its due to the different experiences we all went through, the different environments from where we came from. Some people just simply cannot get along with some people, and it gets fustrating at times. ): and i guess cliques form from there eh. 

Haven’t been coming online for quite some time, getting sick of facebook i dont know why. And there’s nothing much to do online anyway ): sigh, I’VE GOT 40 MOZZY BITES ON MY LEGGGGGGG. >:[ it’s GROSS TO THE MAX. better not put up anymore gruesome pics here, if not peiyi would scream and cover her eyes again. HAHA. 

And i very very very very seldom listen to chinese songs, but when i saw this MV on tv that day, i cried. ): and i’ve no idea why, because i dont really get the meaning of the song. HAHA. just that the bus stop names are very nice!! :D and that made me cry. the way i cried for marley and me = quite bad. 

p.s i think i’m a very boring person, especially after i nearly put amanda to sleep on the phone. HAHA. 

Something to think about this lent: 
• Fast from judging others; feast on the Christ dwelling in them.
• Fast from emphasis on differences; feast on the unity of life.
• Fast from apparent darkness; feast on the reality of light.
• Fast from thoughts of illness; feast on the healing power of God.
• Fast from words that pollute; feast on phrases that purify.
• Fast from discontent; feast on gratitude.
• Fast from anger; feast on patience.
• Fast from pessimism; feast on optimism.
• Fast from worry; feast on divine order.
• Fast from complaining; feast on appreciation.
• Fast from negatives; feast on affirmatives.
• Fast from unrelenting pressures; feast on unceasing prayer.
• Fast from hostility; feast on non-resistance.
• Fast from bitterness; feast on forgiveness.
• Fast from self-concern; feast on compassion for others.
• Fast from personal anxiety; feast on eternal truth.
• Fast from discouragements; feast on hope.
• Fast from facts that depress; feast on verities that uplift.
• Fast from lethargy; feast on enthusiasm.
• Fast from thoughts that weaken; feast on promises that inspire.
• Fast from shadows of sorrow; feast on the sunlight of serenity.
• Fast from idle gossip; feast on purposeful silence.
• Fast from problems that overwhelm; feast on prayer that sustains.

 

You never know how much someone means to you until you lose them/are about to lose them. And i’d rather lose myself for that moment, be silly, engulf myself in it and set things right, rather than losing that someone permernantly. Because what’s lost, can hardly be replaced.