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1. Last eclub meeting was on wednesday ): was a tad bit sad. no, very sad. ): but it’s okay because my board’s becoming real bonded now, and that’s good. can’t wait for dinner this wednesday after interviews. shall update more at a later date.
2. Shuyi’s birthday party last friday (: super insane haha found out how to use the special feature of a canon normal camera to do un-normal effects (: miss my crescent pals plenty. shall update more at a later date. photos on facebook to be put at a later date.
3. been busy day in day out in school just figuring out all the handing over stuff. jcc hustings over already, count votes, photocopy paper, pass around, discuss, bug people to pay money for can marathon, finalising can marathon info, bod hustings, count votes, photocopy, think think think, analyse, discuss, come up with interview questions, think think, discuss, interview, think think, discuss. hope that june camp wll be good man (unless ms wong is really serious about her threat). very ironic because just when everyone is stepping down, im like super duper busy with my cca.
4. been hearing lots of nags lately to study, from people older, and from those my age. do i really look like i dont study? eh actually yes, but the thing is, i dont have the time to ): gahh, may is the month full of birthdays (2 more bdays coming up nxt week, and all i’m planning) + eclub. haha excuses. i’d try to find the time to study in june eh. but somehow tj wants us to go back in the 1st week and i have aftnn lectures from like 2-4?!?! INSANE. ): ): ): where got time to study like that! should have just retained la.
5. i’m very sad that term 3 will have to change timetable because 1) i wont be able to have the same breaks as peiyi 2) what if i end even later than now in my new timetable 3) my fridays arent slack anymore, so i cant pon sch on friday? ):
6. people are selfish. innate nature? i dont know. just cannot stand how you give me the float, and out of nowhere just take it off like that, at this time some more. shouldn’t have even given it to me in the first place. so much for “i care about you” and “i dont want to feel bad”. shouldnt have depended on you. once bitten twice shy, why cant i even learn that. ):
7. a lot of commitments on hand, hit me hard that i dont have time for myself. ): i need starbucks and me-time soon (oh no this sounds like yuexi).
8. we study so hard, get caught in the rat race and all, wouldn’t it be nice to just take a year off for me-time? wonder if that is too long though. but there’s so much i want to do.
9. money issues. moral of the story: do not splurge on scrapbooking stuff. (just spent over $60 at the scrapbooking shop, not including the stuff i got from daiso and the photos and blah). i need to find a job.
10. life sucks take drugs.
11. this post shall be further elaborated on at a later date.
meanwhile, press on pearlyn! last week of school! :D :D :D
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1. Thank you for letting me find out who i’m not. That’s bringing me a step closer to finding out who i am. Looking back, how foolish i was.
2. Thankful for yuexi’s blog post. (: omg yay you are on home leave. was so worried when you got into ICU. and then, looking at all the messages, so glad that we’ve made you two smile. (: (:
3. For a whole year of learning experience in eclub. Learnt much, didnt get along well at first. Grew closer to the board only this year. Dinners out. Lunch treats. Impromptu meetings. Together opening the new 70k cafe. Project and projects. Fundraisers. Cleaning the pushcart. Designs and promoting the club. The same old format of sms. The panic of checking email (because i know there’d comfirm be something to do with eclub). Interviews. Group discussion (bitching for short). Scoldings. Laugher. Lame shits. Took a year to learn the ropes. And just when i was enjoying it, we’ve to leave ): last meeting next week. Won’t forget this whole journey.
4. To have the chance to hear people out. Discover more about them. and help them tide through.
5. wonderful pals that always check that i’m okay, and tell me the shittest advices ever. but i still love them a lot. like stupid peiting who was trying to psycho me on msn yesterday. and yuexi. and i especially love her random smses! that she send, and i reply, and she doesn’t reply from there -.-
6. you.
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Was comforting someone today over a breakup. Weird because i didn’t know what to say before i met her, and when i finally did, everything just seemed to flow. And it was as if i went through one before, but i didnt. She asked, why did i know guys so well and how come i knew the right things to say. How was it that i could make her stop crying, to make her feel better and just see things in a broader perspective. And you know what, i dont know. And she said, that i should grow up to be a councellor because i give good advices, and you know what, i dont think i should, because i always bring such problems home.
It’s just this innate nature of mine, to let other people’s problems overwhelm me, and i hate it. Sometimes its as though i try to help and in the end i become more of a burden. But when i really am able to do something, i take it as mine. When it’s not, adding more to my load.
I can comfort her, but when it ever becomes my turn, dont think i can comfort myself.
All i want to do is wallow in self-pity.
It’s scary too because the stories are so similar, and limpeiting is trying to be a very good influence over msn now by psycho-ing me to do something that i wont bear to. “it’s so easy for anyone to spout those words”
What a thought-provoking day.
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Happy Birthday Ms Tan! :D
Pokxy and I busy at work. Hehe totally ponned school that day just so that i could fly down to her house and finish the board. Totally didn't expect to do 2 sides though!
the 70++ photos front that took 3h to complete!
the very anyhow-do-and-try-to-make-it-nice back that we spent 1h doing! made i&e comm people that went down to celebrate to write something. so rushed la everyone, and we all didn't know what to write at first.
the cupcakes and candles and balloons we made at the playground downstairs. but she couldnt see cause her kitchen window was blocking! haha sorry guys! ):
birthday girl!
i&e comm 06/07! you guys are really the best! love everyone of you guy to bits <3
yuexi and i and the birthday girl and the board we made!
8th May 2009
This day will always remain in my heart.
I&E 06/07 the bestest people on earth (:
Everyone please do take care of yourself and we really have to meet up and have a good chat soon!
yay yay finally wordpress is not screwed up anymore. it’s been acting crazy for the past two posts, i practically cannot see what im typing, thus the minimal update. (:
“ever felt like you’ve tried to make things better by spending time and effort to talk to people, to make things right but at the end of the day it all equates to nothing when you see that flash of disappointment, that look of disillusion, that sigh of frustration escaping from another?
ever felt unappreciated for all the things you’ve done in the background that people know nothing of? and in the end it doesnt matter because the outcome of trying is the same as not trying at all.
ever felt like ‘it’s the process that matters’ is so cliched and as much as you can believe in it when you say it to others, you cant convince yourself to believe it when you’re saying it to yourself?
ever felt like it’s time to call it quits and just put everything down?” – from pokxy’s
it’s time i believe that tomorrow will not be better, because i’ve been telling myself that “things will be better after today” and apparently it hasn’t been. im starting to lose hope. and it’s not looks of disillusion, flashes of disappointment of another’s, but rather of mine. because no matter how hard i try, ultimately if that’s the general attitude, i guess i’d have to resign to fate. afterall, we were all on different wavelengths to begin with.
and just because i keep telling myself that this is the training ground, because uni will be like that or even worse, it doesn’t mean it has to be true. i dont believe in the latter anymore. because it had proven not to be. it’s just the school culture, and so i’d resign to it. 25 more weeks to the end of school!
just the simple pe shirt incident yesterday said it all. i didnt mind staying in another school till 10pm yesterday, and yet i grumble so much when i have to stay back till like 4+ today. school culture? no idea, but going to the other place yesterday really really felt like the crescent days, and thus im cancelling out the point in my head that people our age are like that, because the people in there are not. (you’ve no idea what i’m talking about) i ____ tj.
thank you four wallies for making life bearable!
and peiyi! you are the reason why i go to school! <3
